I want you to go and look at at least 4 responses from your classmates and to comment on them as well!
Have fun!!
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Gang shooting in Mililani, three students found dead. That kind of news doesn't exist here, because Mililani is a safe neighborhood. And where there is a safe neighborhood, there exists a safe high school: Mililani High School. Crenshaw High School isn't so lucky, and the students there don't have the luxury of safety, something most people take for granted. Just the worry of making it home alive is enough to make someone's life a living hell. These students live in that hell, and it's not going away like a bad nightmare.
The students at Crenshaw High School have an unfair disadvantage that the students of Mililani High School won't ever have to worry about: coming from a rough neighborhood. A neighborhood where drugs, gangs, and “bad kids” are the norm, nobody expects there to be kids that actually give a care about where they are going in life. To most people, those from Crenshaw will end up in prison or dead by the time they turn thirty, if they even make it that long. Already these kids won’t be taken as seriously as a Mililani High School student, where academics are taken seriously and no life-threatening events happen behind the scenes. Miles Corwin knew what they faced when he said “I wanted to show how truly slanted the playing field remains, how inequality is built into a system touted as a meritocracy, how students from places such as South-Central face such great obstacles that they still need the step up from affirmative action (pg. 2).” Mililani students don’t have the playing field against them like Crenshaw students do.
Despite the hardships that students from Crenshaw have to go through, they possess similarities to the students from Mililani. There are those that actually care about where they are going to be after high school and want a better life than what they have now. It could be said that Mililani and Crenshaw students are on a similar level in regards to dedication and passion. If anything, they have to work harder to prove that they can go above and beyond their current situations, and they have just the drive to pull it off.
Although there are major differences between Crenshaw High School and Mililani High School, they share some important aspects that show the world that there is something worthy about both. Even in the worst of neighborhoods, there is still a little hope that somebody is working to persevere through their hardships to have a chance at a better life.
Leelynn, Thank you for being one of the first to do this! Your comparison is very clear. I like your quote too!
ReplyDeleteLeelynn~
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this. It made me think about things I didn't include in my blog. I really liked how you added like a voice to your response. I was hooked to your writing when I first started reading. It captivated my intrest and made me want to keep reading. GOOD JOB! :)
Leelynn,
ReplyDeleteI truly agree with what you said. There are hardships in South-Central we won't have to face here at Mililani High. And we have a completely different playing field than they do. I also agree with what you thought was similar between the two high schools. There are students at both schools that want to succeed in life and try very hard to make a good academic stance for themselves. Good job!
Damn, your lead sentence was a very good way to start off this essay. It immediately drew me in. I could really hear how passionate you were. Your voice seemed to echo throughout your whole essay. However, I think that it could've been longer and more detailed in the sense that more details should've been included about how dangerous Crenshaw High really is. Other than that, I think you did well. So yuhhhhp, great job. ~JhAY
ReplyDeleteLeelynn,
ReplyDeleteI love it how you included both the similarities and the differences. What you said made sense =) I loved how... opinionated you were, haha, it seemed more like an informal discussion than an essay which is a good thing because it shows you care! Good job!
-Camille
Leelynn,
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you made me think about how we mililani students take our safe environment for granted. We should often stop and think about how fortunate we are to go to this school. I liked how you grabbed the reader's attention in that first paragraph. Great Job. Your argument was very well thought out! :)